Brand New Skin

Do you ever feel like you don't know what you're doing or where your are going in life?  I'm pretty sure I feel that way at 75.5% of the day.  I often feel a little downtrodden on where our family is in life.  Look, I know, I have an awesome husband, and two fun kiddos, but lately I feel like I have lost my direction.  Back in High School... I know a million years ago it seems, I knew exactly where I wanted to end up and where I thought I would fit.  Now though I just don't even know what it means to fit.

For my career I spent 10 years - count that 10 years getting my bachelors degree.  (I did however take a few years off and once I really hit it hard core I finished most of my credits in three years).  After all that hard work, going to school with two kids while my husband worked his butt off I finally was put in a position in the Marketing field.  I loved the work I did, but the company wasn't the right fit for me.  Ever since I left, I have felt lost.  I have spent the last year and a half trying to figure out who I am and where I want to end up (not things I thought I'd be doing at 30!)  I have finally decided to get my butt back out in the real world and it is scary.  Did you know entry level positions can have at least 3 interviews?  I do now!  While doing this I'm wondering should I be going back for my Masters degree?  If I do, would I be able to get a job without the work experience to go along with it?

While I've taken years to battle the career dilemma, my children are growing up on me.  I look around and all of the sudden my little boy is a 13 year old young man, and my daughter is a 10 year old preteen. I want to make sure I stay involved as much as possible in their life, but how do I do that while trying to figure myself out.  These are the things I worry about daily (please tell me I'm not alone. ) I realized I was never a room mom, and now she's in 6th grade.  I've never been to all the PTA meetings even though I sign up, and I don't really know other moms in my area.  I try to make friends with them but I always end up being and feeling super awkward.  Ugg!

To add to all of this, my hubby has started school and we are trying really hard to get him into the grove of it.  School does not come natural to him.  He has lived a rather tough life, and was homeless at 14, therefore school was the least of his concerns.  He is starting late in life figuring out where he wants to go.  I feel pressure on me at 30, I can't imagine how it feels for him!

We are working really hard at life right now to get ahead, it is just complicated figuring out which direction we want to go and some days I get worn out just thinking about it.  Just making a game plan can overwhelm me!  But, this is me, and you can join me for this crazy, bumpy, emotional roller coaster if you want... although I'm not sure I'd recommend it.

Brand New

I am Bama.
I am a wife.
I am a mother (a 13 year old boy and a 10 year old girl).
I have faced struggles.
I have enjoyed success.
I have been happy.
I have been depressed.
I am hopeful.
I have been hopeless.
I love sweets.
I want to be healthy.
I love Coffee.
I love Sleep.
I laugh at memes.
I love quotes.

 Join me as I find out more about myself, my life, and hopefully give insight on yours.